Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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