I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
