if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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