I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
