Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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