so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
