It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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