I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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