He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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