I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize