The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
