I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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