This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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