I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When are your genitals available?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
