so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
