So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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