She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
birth control should be required to get into college
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
