Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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