So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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