Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
