Me. At least after what I've been through.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize