As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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