My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
