He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize