Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
