Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
