You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
