I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
