I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you made out with another girl for some wings
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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