Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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