imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
