I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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