turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
