is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize