Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
