dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
