it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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