So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
