just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
