Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
