I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
