Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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