why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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