Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
