There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
