dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
