it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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