She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
