So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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