If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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