We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
