Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
