I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
