I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
