ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
