oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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