There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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