He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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