god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The air taste purple.
Randomize
