He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
