You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
