I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
