It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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