she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
