He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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